The Four Agreements

of Don Ruiz Miguel

Most of us are seekers, right? Seekers of something… and even though we believe in the intelligence of the universe, if we believe all is connected, that everything happens for a reason and that there is a higher force that unfolds the events of our life, we still seek.

Seek spirituality, some wisdom, a religion, guidance… a structure; a framework that makes sense of it all.

Different esoteric practices, religions or martial arts have made sense of it in one way or the other; the Toltects are just another example, and Don Ruiz Miguel eloquently, shortly and coherently explains a steppingstone of their wisdom… and these are the four agreements.

To begin with, we can ask ourself the question ‘what agreements do we have with ourselves?’ When we were children and we agreed with our friend that he knows better, and so up to this day you put others’ opinions ahead of yours. We agreed with our parents that we shouldn’t ask too many questions, and so on, and we built our life on these implanted, false ideas.

Any idea becomes a thought process and your thought processes become your agreements, which can either grow flowers or grow weeds. If it is weeds that are grown, then the Toltects call it ‘Mitote’, or parasite. And parasites need to be fought and so we become warriors. I enjoy this concept/idea about warriors so much – that’s what we are fighting, destructive thoughts and bad habits. Literally fighting for peace, for peace of mind.

Now if we could just download a new set of agreements and erase the old ones, life would not be life and we would probably eat stardust and breathe through our hair. And there might be some late blooming prodigies or mystical extraterrestrial-inclined humans that have had some revelations and magical overnight transformations, but the rest of us creatures have to accept that we will need time, patience and persistence for whatever practice we choose. So let us take a sneak peak at these agreements…

Be impeccable with your word

Which inclines that you be truthful and say things that have a positive influence on yourself and others. Within the word is power, even the bible start with ‘first there was the word’ and the word created. Quantum physicists like Nassim Haramein also explain scientifically how our thoughts create reality. We are what we think, if we think we will never succeed at anything, we most likely will not, if we like to pity ourselves, then we encourage others to do so as well. Ask yourself to observe not only your talks with others but the inner dialogue you have with yourself continuously.

Don’t take anything personally

This agreement suggests that each persons sees the world in a unique way, the way others treat us says as much about them as it does about us. If you can remind yourself of this when you receive some discomforting remark, then you do not make it about you, detaching yourself from the situation and the emotional roalercoaster accompanying it. You have wounds that are touched by what is said, so it is you that is hurting yourself.

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”

Don’t make assumptions Assuming that you know what other people are thinking or feeling limits you to the truth of events and often leads to undesirable consequences. I won’t ask him a question because I assume it will make me look stupid. I won’t ask if there is an availability because they probably already have someone else in line. The remedy for this is to simply ask for evidence before concluding a situation. If you don’t ask, you will never know. Always do you best Always make an effort and accept that your effort and your best will vary from the day the moon is full to the day you found a dead bird in the garden to the day you woke up with an orgasm. By acknowledging that your best varies from moment to moment, you lay you inner judge to rest. Acknowledging these agreements and knowing them is not what will make the difference though. You also need a strong will to keep to these agreements, you need forgiveness and patience, understanding and love. You need to be a ‘great hunter, a great warrior, who can defend these Four Agreements with your life’. To heal whatever trauma and defend these agreements you need to forgive, forgive what was and what has been different than you had planned. Forgiveness heals, and with it self-rejection in your own mind will end. And will stop fueling emotions that come from fear and love. The style and language in which Ruiz writes is approachable and easy-going and overall a pleasant read. He has also written several other books guiding you along the path of self-mastery including The 5th Agreement – Be Skeptical, But Learn to Listen. Call it Toltec wisdom or common sense but most of these ideas are highly similar to concepts used by modern humanistic psychologists or cognitive-behavioral psychologists. And are used to improve the quality of our health, relationships and environment. “A big difference between a warrior and a victim is that the victim represses and the warrior refrains.” So I invite you to be graceful warriors guided by patience, inspired by forgiveness and strengthened by a strong will. May your thoughts be loving and kind as you pay gratitude with each breath. Invite lightness and play, don’t take it all too seriously, hey! May the moonlight guide your heart and the sun your soul, Heartfully yours, Freya